High Speed Hiccup
What happens when a blind man chases a paraplegic man?
It was a normal day like any other. Mindy sat on the park bench minding her own business. On her lap sat a blueberry muffin just waiting for her to eat it. Excitedly Mindy plucked the muffin from its perch, aiming her lips for a bite.
“See ya later loser!”
A man in a wheelchair rolled up and snatched Mindy’s purse. She was caught off guard by the sudden attack, she couldn’t stop the man in time. The thief rolled away, cackling like a mad man.
“Help me, I’ve been robbed!” Mindy exclaimed.
“Have fun being poor!” The man in the wheelchair howled back.
From amongst the sparse bystanders, one man stepped forth.
“Not in my town!”
The man approached Mindy tapping the ground before him with a white cane. Mindy’s initial burst of hope shriveled to dismay as the blind man found her with a tap of his cane.
“Fear not Miss, I’ll reclaim your stolen property. My name is Billy.” Said the blind man.
“Are you sure you’re up for this?”
Billy was off before he heard the question.
“The thief is on the path!” Mindy shouted the moment she noticed Billy steering away.
“I know that!” Billy course corrected at once.
The chase was on. The blind man pursued the man in a wheelchair to reclaim the stolen purse. The pace was quite slow with the wheelchair barely going faster than a walk. Billy was able to keep pace with his cane guiding him through every step. Mindy followed the pair at a walk.
“Stop thief!” Billy called after the man in the wheelchair.
“Never!” the man shouted back, “There is none who can catch the great and swift Timmy!”
One of the chair’s wheels snagged on a rock. Timmy was almost thrown from his chair by the sudden stop in his momentum. The robber cursed his foul luck, reaching down to remove the obstruction. That gave Billy enough time to catch up.
“Aha! Finished before you even started!” Billy declared, “It comes to show crime never pays.”
“That’s what you think!”
Timmy swung the purse, connecting to Billy’s head. The blind man went tumbling down with a groan, losing his cane in the process. Timmy bought himself enough time to remove the rock.
“See you later loser!”
The paraplegic thief took off once more. Billy fumbled across the ground in search of his walking stick.
“Blast! Now where is it! I can’t waste time being stuck, there’s a robber to catch!”
Billy found the smooth crevices of his reliable tool floating just above his hand. Mindy offered him his white cane with a look of sheer disbelief. If not for Billy’s lack of sight he would have taken offense, if only subtlety.
“You know I can just call the police, right?” Mindy asked, “There’s no need to put yourself in harm’s way on my behalf.”
“Ma’am, cruel men truly win when decent men allow them to. So that is why I chose to interfere when I don’t have to. In doing so I shape a better world around me.”
Taking back his cane, Billy left Mindy with a profound look.
Timmy made a lot of ground in the time it took Billy to return to the chase. The paraplegic man was laughing maniacally as he drove.
“There’s not a soul who can stop me!” Timmy declared, “I am the faaaaas-.”
A flight of stairs blocked his path forward. Timmy was forced to a complete stop at the sight of it. There was no ramp nearby for his convenience. Timmy was thoroughly trounced.
“I see you’ve come to a stop.” Billy slowly caught up to Timmy.
“You can’t even see anything!”
Billy paused, “Oh yeah, that’s right. Now hold still and give me the purse so I can return it.”
“Not going to happen chump!”
Timmy put his wheelchair in reverse, driving backwards into Billy. Caught off guard, the blind man had no time to avoid the chair before he got folded over it. Timmy was driving backwards with Billy along for the ride.
“Oh, good heavens! What are you doing?!” Billy exclaimed.
“Hey get off my ride! This isn’t the bus!” Timmy shouted back.
Mindy watched the scene play out in amused shock. For many yards the pair rolled down the path into several passersby. The confused civilians were able to safely get out of the way unharmed but greatly amused. With Billy struggling not to fall off, his arms blinded Timmy. That left the crook unable to keep eyes on the path as he continued driving backwards.
“Stop it, I can’t see!” Timmy screamed.
“I can’t see either!” The blind man screamed back.
In a panic, Billy started swinging his white cane about wildly. He struck Timmy in the face numerous times in his panic. In furious retaliation, Timmy pinched Billy’s nose.
“Argh! Let go!” Billy cried.
“Ow! Stop hitting me! Ow!” Timmy complained between strikes.
Because he was blinded and distracted, Timmy did not see he drove off the path. The hill they were on made a sharp decline which Timmy approached while driving backwards. Before either of them knew it, both men were teetering downhill at break neck speed.
“What’s going on?!” Billy cried.
“We’re falling, nooooooooooo!” Timmy screamed.
Both men howled as the wheel chair lost all control of its descent. They propelled past trees and rocks, narrowly avoiding collision. The ride came to a swift end when they plowed into the pond at the hill’s root.
KERSPLASH!
Billy and Timmy flipped into the water, stunned but unharmed. Timmy’s wheel chair bobbed away as the two men struggled to stay afloat.
“Dammit! This is all your fault!” Timmy accused, spitting out a mouthful of water.
“That’s what you get for being a crook!” Billy called back.
Luckily the water was shallow, allowing for Billy to stand. It took some splashing around for him to retrieve his cane. To be in this cold, wet situation without it was irredeemably foolish.
“Agh! Somebody help me!” Timmy howled.
“Hold on I got you!” After tapping around with the cane, Billy found his nemesis sloshing helplessly nearby.
Awkwardly, Billy wrapped his arms around Timmy and dragged him out of the water.
“This is all your fault!” Timmy cried, “If you hadn’t have followed me, this wouldn’t have happened!”
“You should have seen this coming when decided to rob someone.” Billy retorted.
“Yeah, well if people hadn’t have picked on me for being paraplegic I wouldn’t have robbed people!”
“And you thought no one would try to stop you?”
“At least not a blind man!” Timmy said.
“Guess what, people pick on me for being blind. I don’t lash out and then make excuses for it.”
Bringing Timmy the rest of the way to shore was challenging. Without sight Billy had to carefully feel out where the ground was rising until the sloshing sounds stopped. Eventually both men were able to safely get out.
“Are you alright?” Mindy carefully descended the hill, reaching the shore.
Taking the purse from Timmy, Billy tapped is way towards her.
“All in a good day’s work.” Billy offered the purse. Five feet left of Mindy.
“I’m over here.” Mindy said. Billy corrected his position, approaching the woman to return her belongings.
“Very good.” Billy gestured to Timmy, “Call that man a doctor and a therapist. He’s going to need all the help he can get.”
Without another word Billy walked off into the sunset as a victorious hero. The blind man tapped his way forward into an uncertain future. With his head held high, Billy knew Mindy would be alright.